Connor Wren on Turning Rejection Into His Most Honest Music Yet

Finding music early

I grew up in a musical family, and singing in church was always a part of my upbringing. But it was about fourth or fifth grade that I got picked to join my elementary school district’s honor choir, and we had rehearsal every week - it was the first time that I felt ‘special’ as a performer… like maybe this was something I was good at?

I remember our choir having a big performance at Disneyland, and I got to sing a solo in the jazz standard “Accentuate the Positive.” That was one of the first times it really registered to me that being a singer brought me so much joy, and it’s something I wanted to keep doing.

Leaving one stage for another

Honestly where I really started my music career was in the Christian church. I spent years singing and performing in churches all over the country with a few different vocal groups that I directed; but after I came out of the closet I had to start completely over.

Those same churches that welcomed me in before all of a sudden cut off ties, but thankfully I found a new home as a performer for Disney. That chapter of my career was definitely a huge mental pivot for me, because when you’re singing in church everything is life-or-death… you literally think you are saving people’s souls with your voice.

Shifting my focus in my singing to spread happiness and excitement in some ways FELT like a downshift in purpose and that was something I had to wrap my head around. As I’ve gotten older though, I’ve realized that the pursuit of joy is really what life is all about. 

Choosing his own voice

A lot of my story has been filled with singing songs for other people - whether that’s the church, or another artist, or a corporation - and when it’s not your song or your story that you are representing, there’s a safety net there.

So choosing to dive into my own music and songwriting on this album has forced me to be more vulnerable than I’ve ever been before - not just with other people, but also with myself. I’m learning that my most authentic music happens when I hold space for all the parts of myself - even the ones that I’ve been trained to hide or down play.

Writing about my heartbreak and disappointment and using those dark moments in my life to push me out the other side into joy and euphoria is what it’s all about. 

When the dream fell apart

I landed a record contract in 2018 with a major label, and to me that was my dreams coming true - all of the pain that the church had caused me in my own journey was finally worth it because I was going to ‘make it.’ What I didn’t know was that when I was dropped just a year after being signed, I’d be sent equally down the other side of that emotional rollercoaster.

So for the next 7 years, I focused solely on singing and producing for other artists. So why now jump back into a solo career? I think there’s a big millennial renaissance happening right now both with artists and with the people connecting to the nostalgia of their childhood.

Seeing artists like Hilary Duff, David Archulata, Miley Cyrus and more overcome their childhood traumas and create new art has been a huge inspiration for me to pursue my own. That’s the real reason I’m calling my album SECOND ADOLESCENCE - because it’s representative of this entire season of my life and so many others.

Writing what he had never said

Each song from my new album is a story I’ve never told before. In the last decade I: came out of the closet, completely uprooted my social and professional life (because of coming out), got engaged and subsequently called off the wedding, was signed and dropped, and came into my own as an adult gay man fully embracing myself, my love, my body, and my identity.

SECOND ADOLESCENCE navigates through all of those experiences whether it’s learning to let go from the pain of the past on “Polaroid Ghosts”, wrestling with other people’s versions of me on “Out of Character”, owning my sexuality on “Body Language” and “Soft”, opening myself up to the possibility of new love on “Falling Tonight” or finding my voice on “Songbird”.

Self-producing as self-trust

I think songwriting is an incredibly vulnerable and emotional expression, and as someone that had been running away from my own artistic expression for a long time, really taking the time to sit with my own feelings, heartache, joy and thoughts and dive back into writing solo was important.

Most of my professional career has been collaborative, so doing something fully on my own meant I had to truly look inward 100%. In that respect, this has been an unbelievably healing project for me, and I’m just really freaking proud of myself for doing it.

When the songs finally poured out

It’s funny because I didn’t really ever set out to make a project that was 100% self-produced and self-written; I just started writing, and once I got into a flow, it was like the dam just burst and the songs poured out of me. My song “Songbird” talks about that very thing - once we find the right path for us, everything comes easy. When it’s right, it’s right.

A lot of my solo studio sessions have honestly just started with journaling - putting myself back in a place I’ve been before and allowing myself to really explore those feelings and emotions. I think every songwriter has their own unique process to get themself into that head space, and I’m excited to have found mine by working on SECOND ADOLESCENCE. 

Finding himself after losing everything

The former closeted church kid in me is cackling at this question. I spent years in the closet, too afraid that I was going to lose everything if I came out. Well… I DID lose everything, but what I found in it’s place was more special than anything I had before.

I’m really excited for people that have been following me since before I came out to experience this new album and see new sides to Connor, but also realize I’m still the same Connor they’ve always known - just a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little more in my own skin. 

"Sometimes the hardest parts of our journeys are what pushes us toward the best parts."

The meaning of belonging

Belonging is everything to me. All of us have our own childhood wounds, and through the last couple of years I’ve learned that mine is feeling unworthy. Finding a place - a workplace, a group of friends, an environment - where we feel wholly seen and that we truly belong and matter is so important. 

Music that helps people feel seen

I think there’s a whole range of emotions I want people to feel, but mostly I hope that listeners feel seen through my music. I hope that young queer people hear a song like “Your Sunrise is Coming” or “Boys Like Us”, and know that they are beautiful and perfect exactly the way they are.

I hope people that are leaving behind toxic relationships resonate with a song like “Polaroid Ghosts” and laugh at a song like “PhD in Therapy”. I hope people going through a period of transition in their life know that it’s just the beginning of their own personal renaissance when they hear a song like “Second Adolescence” or “Songbird”.

Turning rejection into evidence

When I lost my record deal, I really struggled with feelings of self doubt and rejection. That persistent nagging in my ear of “you’re not good enough”, has definitely been a voice in my head for years. But to be totally honest, learning to deal with those voices and silence our inner saboteurs is what makes us stronger people.

If I hadn’t lost that record deal, I probably never would have learned the skills I needed to make it solo, or hustled and pushed myself as hard as I have. If I hadn’t come out of the closet, I wouldn’t have found the community I have now in Los Angeles. Sometimes the hardest parts of our journeys are what pushes us toward the best parts. 

Connor Wren is streaming now on all music platforms. Click here to pre-save Second Adolescence scheduled for release April 3!